Reblogged from hontou
Christopher Truman
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Never forget a pure meme
(Source: bob-belcher, via allthesehotbeatsjustforyou)
POUR JUICE ON YOUR BABY. J UUSTT PP OURR J UCIICCE ALL OVOEOR RYOUR YOUN GG CHILDD, J US T DO I T YO U PIE CE OF
(Source: hahawhore, via annanymousss)
ok don’t get me wrong the ‘salt and pepper diner’ bit is hysterical, but john mulaney has so many more hilarious stories that no one seems to talk about:
•the party at the house of the teacher that everyone hated
•the dog trainer
•meeting bill clinton
•“hUSH!”
•“-too old to be a duckling, quack, quack!”
•“eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.”
•literally any story involving his parents (especially the black coffee one)
just please, do yourselves a favor, don’t just stop at ‘salt and pepper diner’, listen to all this guy’s stories because they are gold
Don’t forget
- sometimes I get nervous on airplanes
- Delta Airlines / The I Love My Girlfriend
- “I just wanna sit here and feed my birds”
- JOHN that bathroom’s been closed for FOURTY YEARS!
- the Lawyer Parents stories
- “you don’t understand! i’m not a taxi driver!”
for any of you who aren’t familiar w the “salt n pepper diner” bit, its done by John Mulaney, you can find some of his shows on netflix!! he’s one of my FAVE comedians 8D
“they expect to see a 100-year-old blind dog but instead they find me, a 28-year-old man Trying His Best”
(via youngsamberg)
(Source: facefondler, via myleg)
i see yr “ted cruz is the zodiac killer” theory and raise u a “ted cruz is literally every serial killer” theory.
(Source: beckette, via thecommonchick)
(Source: memethiefsteve, via myleg)
